The insiders felt they were all superior to newcomers, no matter what the newcomers backgrounds were. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. How Do I Respond To "I'm proud of you"? Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . An acquaintance commented on a recent Facebook post I made that he was proud of me and immediately I felt so mad about that but couldnt figure out why. Praise does not help bring up children who have an internal belief in themselves, of self-worth. What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). Darling, Are You Proud of Me? | Psychology Today The phrase, in my belief, implies my contribution as a parent. The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. Thank You. Don't disguise it as concern, either. Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". 5. So happy for us! I say it often to former students. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. 10 Ways to Let Your Husband Know You're Proud of Him I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. Because this was someone elses idea. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. stories on the Parent Skills website are posted only as opinion or ideas, and are general in nature. Well done!. Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. I have deep concerns if children crave to hear "I'm proud of you" because they want to know that their parents approve of them - of their behaviour, of their decisions in life. I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. You haven't said who is speaking to whom. 1. Sept. 29, 2020, 8:12 PM PDT / Updated Sept. 30, 2020, 5:34 AM PDT. Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. 2. Its powerful. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. 4 . As parents, it's important to stay calm and resist the urge to blame our kids or anyone else, really for our emotions. When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. Pretty much an entire generation of American kids heard it from Mr. Rogers. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. Please contact info@parentskills.com.au for further information. I live about 200 miles from the old college & she lives in the same town as the college is located. However what messages might our children actually hear? Its all because of blessings and good wishes, I could do it. I have never said to my children, I am proud of you. My reason is that thry are responsile for their successes and I shoudnt take any credit for it. Updated 7th September 2016; and 19th April 2019. I almost never tell anyone Im proud of them, for exactly this reason. Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! The Proud Boys ' anger toward Mr. Trump has heightened after he did nothing to help those in the group who face legal action for the Capitol violence. I may never know but you can simply ask him if you question the genuineness in his response. Ive had multiple people tell me theyre proud of me like my parents, grandparents, elders but it just doesnt mean anything to me, I dont have any emotional response from any of them and my response ends up being ok or yup. Pause before responding. What Does the Bible Say About Being Proud Of Sin? The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation. Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. I'm so proud of your painting!" After all, you were the one who put the effort into writing the report you did the research, you put the paper together. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. 20 of the Best Encouraging Words that Hold any Caregivers Up 06 "Tim, I keep wondering what Dad would say if he were alive right now. Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. Im proud of myself, too. I dislike the phrase entirely, regardless of how we are involved in the individuals life: parent, teacher, mentor, etc. Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. The other three sound as if you're saying you're proud of yourself too. Best of BBC Future. I am proud of them for being like this with one another. The phrase "Im proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, teacher, co-worker, boss) has more experience, or power, or in some manner has the right to pronounce their opinion, on someone elses effort. Date TBA. So, lets get started! 10. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. Thank you, mom and dad, youre the reason for this. What does it mean when a woman says she's proud of you? What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? This is a very interesting discussion for me. I have always struggled with this word. Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. Youre my friend, not my parents! I can point them out to my friends and say, Those are my sons!. However, the other expression Im really happy for you is so overused that it immediately rings the bell of insincerity. I was irritated by that remark. If someone calls you out for saying something offensive, remember that your intent can be different than your impact. Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. I think that the phrase really bothers me, because its like saying, Wow, I didnt think you were good enough to ever achieve -insert whatever here.- My fiance said it to me last night while I was doing the dishes. Thanks for making us proud. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. When I Say I'm Proud of You - ttmm.io Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. Congratulations to our dearest son. Approval is different to acceptance. Stay in the know when we release new content! I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. This post was actually very helpful for me! He loves to share his unique perspectives and ways to make everyday conversations a bit 'lively'. Well, that truly makes my day. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. What to Say to Someone on Their Sobriety Anniversary - Taylor Recovery But arguing about what words mean is pointless- meanings vary. They seem to make him quite happy. May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. Its probably contempt and anger. Youre like my sister from another mother. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. You worked so hard, you really deserve that job! Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. It is a feeling of relief and it was all worth while you bringing them up properly. If you're more than a friend it's more loving. Thats what I think. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. Children whose parents constantly say "I'm proud of you" may grow to be adults who rely on other people's opinion of them for validation. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. When my parents tell me that they are proud of me, I generally take it to mean that they recognize something I have done on my own merit as being worthy of praise. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). If He Says These 10 Things, He's Just Stringing You Along Until He I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. I don't think you . How do you feel about, "I'm proud of you"? - reddit You cannot be proud of anything you were born with, only with what you achieve. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. Posted articles do not constitute advice or recommendations. Can "me too" be used here? They mean the exact opposite of what you think. To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. Get your facts straight. It does not take it away from them. I was excited to see your reaction. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. He's proud of you. It can be difficult to respond to Im proud of you if youre struggling with self-doubt. Who is saying this to whom? What to Do and What to Say When Someone Insults You - UpJourney She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. I can take pride if I made a contribution, but I have to frame it that way. Proverbs 29:23 A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor. If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. 25 EPIC Bible Verses About Pride And Humility (Proud Heart) But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. I dont think there is a neutral position. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. The most important thing is to show your appreciation and gratitude for their words. My husband just said it to me a couple of days ago (for a little achievement I just made in my physique) and it made me happy as well. Required fields are marked *. Maybe Im mad, because it makes me feel like he thinks I wasnt doing enough before I started back at work- like carrying children inside of my body for nearly two years, plus birthing them, plus never sleeping, plus cleaning for HOURS upon HOURS everyday, plus cooking, plus plus plus wasnt enough to be proud of. The Next Giant Leap. 1. 3. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. I agree that its a phrase that is really reserved for the individual doing, or accomplishing something, i.e. "I'm proud of you" is often associated with mentor-mentee relationships, something that a teacher or parent might say. Family Tree. Thanks to you, as well for being such a caring and supportive partner. Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? What your walk really says about you - BBC Future When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. Youll feel mad and resentful. Otherwise I feel like Im horning in on someone elses territory their right to be proud of their own accomplishments. 9. Here subject and object are the same person. Thank you for starting this. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? Think of things people have often praised. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up - Bustle And black adults (57%) are more likely than whites (43%) or Hispanics (42%) to know someone who falls into . 'A Total Failure': The Proud Boys Now Mock Trump 2. 4. 5. True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. Proud Boys celebrate after Trump's debate callout - NBC News 6 Things a Narcissist Would Never Do | Psych Central There are some super special and engaging responses you can give when someone very close to you, says that theyre proud of you. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. Language gets corrupted. PJ, I will give my thoughts on your post at the end of my post. 139 Compliments List (Really Nice Things To Say To Someone) Proud Boys Intended To Kill Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi, FBI Witness Says What is another way to tell an adult you are proud of them? 3. (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! 3. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. This will help to create a bond between the two of you and will strengthen your relationship. How to Let Your Children Know You Are Proud of Them - Verywell Family 1. You are using an out of date browser. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. It's important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. 3. From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. I again said. said Christopher Robin. 11 Signs He's Proud To Be With You - Bolde . You look so much better!". (a short read). "Be proud of your scars. 16. And Ill encourage them to be proud. 30 Ways to Say I'm Proud of You to Someone Special They include: courage, commitment, imagination and compassion, and oh yes, patience -- lots of it -- because it doesn't happen overnight. He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. She says "Good boy. 2. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. I wouldnt get anxious about it. 2014, 2016, 2019. On the one hand, you're thinking, "He says I'm amazing," and you know he's not wrong. Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Im excited, are you? That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. It means she feels proud for what you've done or achieved. Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Im so glad that youre there for giving me support. A 2017 analysis of 2012 national data from the US, showed that parent behaviour could have a protective role in a their child's mental health. 11 Answers for: What To Respond When Someone Says They've Been Busy? I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. You're not necessarily the expert. Can't you do something different?" However Simon Cowell for instance often says he is proud of a contestant he has never met before. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. We all have people in our lives who make us feel special, appreciated, and respected. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. Graduates: TBA, Grandparents: PET for Grandparents. "I guess we can't all get Ph.D.'s in science like I did.". Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. 8. Everything you do is with excellence. I have always seen it as, Ive been there, done that, and think you have done it too.. 1. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. Linda Adams, in her book Be Your Best, quotes Charleszetta Waddles (African American activist): You cant give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride. If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. 9. Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. Isnt she elevating herself above me to oversea my behaviors to make sure I was a good little girl? You have always been there for me and our friendship is something that will never go away. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I'm committed to working on our relationship so we both feel . In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. What 'I Love You But I'm Not IN Love With You' Really Means 8. If you're a friend, it's friendly. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". When someone says they are busy, it could mean that they are busy. Let them know that you are grateful for their support. How come you didnt come to watch this match? 12. Towards Net Zero. Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. "You make me so mad.". Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. Make sure to take the time to think about how you want to respond. 24. "I wish I had met you. And you get to benefit from them regardless of the outcome of your relationship. Graduation Wishes for Son - Congratulations Messages Quotes Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? but you do play a role in their success! How might you feel as the worker? On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc.